This is getting to be annoying.

This morning after I got off the bus, this guy turns to me and says "I forgot to brush" and I'm like "hmm" and look away, I did that pursed lip raised eyebrows thing, and he's like "how are you?" and I said "fine" and he said "you don't seem fine, i would think you'd say pissed off" and I was just like "whatever", then he ran ahead and started talking to this other cute girl and she completely ignored him. So I get my coffee and go sit on my bench for my 30 minute wait, and he comes walking by again and stops and says "Can I sit next to you?" and I just shake my head no and he's like "Ohhhh who the hell are you?! I can't sit next to you." and then sees I'm reading Fight Club, says "scary bitch" and walks away talking loud about it. He then comes up and asks to use my lighter so I hand it to him and he says "Are there bathrooms in this mall?" and I say "I don't know, you'll have to check the directory" and he gives me my lighter and walks to the directory saying "You should get a job at one of those concierge things, telling me I don't know check the directory, I'm not stupid." Well why the fuck didn't he check it if he's not stupid? This guy looked like one of those frat boy douchebags that hangs out downtown with all the attitude thinking they can just chat up any girl they see and used to the drunk ones that giggle and flirt back. Ugh. I want to make a t-shirt that says somehting like "I don't ride the bus to meet men." on the front and "Please don't talk to me." on the back. It really creeped me out the way he was wandering around the edges of the little area I was sitting in, so I moved to stand by the other people that were waiting for the same bus.

This is following on the heels of about two weeks of avoiding a particular bus at a particular time. I was sitting at a stop about two weeks ago when a huge truck drove by and threw all kinds of dirt and rocks on me, so I his behind the bench. This guy who I've seen before comes walking up, so I lean around and warn him. He sits behind the bench too, and thanks me profusely. We chat for a bit, the bus comes, we get on and thankfully he doesn't try to sit next to me. The next day he talks to me again. This isn't so bad, except both times everything he says is a compliment to me, things like "You're so pretty, I'll bet you get hit on all the time" and "I wanted to talk to you but I was too intimidated" and "I see you walking from there, where do you work?" and "You need to stop being so cool" and gave me his email address and told me to email him. Nonstop. So on the third day I made a point not to put myself into a situation where he could talk to me, even though he tried several times to get my attention, and by the fourth I just made sure I missed that bus. I just don't feel like being in a situation where I need to tell someone to stop flirting with me.

Anyway, I think my boyfriend's upset now. My cowoker says I need to be careful about people noticing my routes. I agree. I already have pepper spray. My boyfriend says I should just steal a car to stop riding the bus. I don't know, I don't think I should be too scared to ride public transportation. In Fight Club the guy gets rid of his car to be more zen, and I get that. It took a car accident for me to get rid of my car, and I think I'm better for it. I'm thrust into a world of new experiences, and I'm having to use the muscles of my body to survive, even if for only a mile a day. I actually use the energy from the food I eat. Before, I was sinking deeper and deeper into a sedate lifestyle and it was killing me. That's not living. Well so I don't wear low-cute shirts or skirts. I should always have a pair of tennis shoes to wear for the walk to and from the bus when I plan on wearing less sensible shoes for work. I should always carry my pepper spray in my pocket and an umbrella in my hand (so I can beat someone with it). Maybe I should start taking aikido again too? I know my boyfriend always liked the idea of dating a ninja.

You're on Candid Camera!

Okay, the bus was packed and the lady next to me was shoving me out of the way to get ready to take a seat I was already planning on offerring her. It was hot and I was annoyed, and then I saw 3 metal heads getting on, all with super long died black hair. I was getting ready to be even more uncomfortable. They get on talking loudly and joking amongst themselves, and the bus takes off. Then one pulls out his cell phone and another goes, Oh dude, I think my phone's ringing. Hello? Other guy: Hey dude where are you? First guy: On my way to Linda Vista, how about you? Other guy: No way! Me too! It was funny, and went on for a while, and I was laughing by the time the bus cleared out and I got a seat. The conversation between the boys shifted to music, and their need for a drummer, which evolved into their upcoming European tour and some of the festivals they were going to play in Germany. Then this really strange thing happened where the driver from another route pulled up next to our driver and had a conversation in the middle of the street. It ended up that we passed the bus from the other route, which soon passed us further down the street. All of a sudden the boys' conversation got heated. "Is he still following us or is he following the other bus now?!" one asked. Another jumped on the phone. "Dude, are you behind the ## or the ##?" "What's he driving?" "Oh dude, he's in that SUV right there behind the ##." "The whole point of this was for him to follow us and videotape the conversation." At this point everyone is looking out the window, listening carefully, and getting nervous and interested. Are we in the midst of a reality show? everyone was thinking. (Still on the phone) "No, dude, calm down, we can just ride back in the car and start over. Did you at least bring the Gibson?" "Did he bring the Gibson, dude? Let's get off here." "You didn't bring the Gibson?!" "He didn't bring the Gibson?!" which trailed off into "I can't believe he didn't bring the Gibson!" as they jumped off the bus. When the bus was safely on the road, I turned to the girl sitting next to me and asked "Was that not completely bizarre?" She laughed nervously and said "Was it real?"

My guess is that it wasn't, that these kids amuse themselves by coming up with complicated alternative lives for themselves and play it out for the "audience" around them. It could be possible, of course, but the way they so smartly carried out the phone conversation at the beginning of the ride made me wary of whatever might come next. I suppose we'll find out when a metal band's public transportation ride is entered as part of the next MTV reality show, won't we?

Whoa, slow down a minute!

So I was getting off the bus yesterday morning and before I'd even placed my first foot onto the sidewalk, the driver started rolling the bus! At first I thought I was just sleepy. "Okay, just slow the bus down, open the doors, and I'll roll into it."

What's happening to the world?!

So for the past two days I've been right next to two seperate sets of kids, both of which were having conversations about drugs. The first group consisted of a kid not more than 15, and an older boy of, say 18. They were discussing the purchase and distribution of 2 pounds of marijuana, and I have to say it was the younger kid doing all of the talking. He apparently had the connections and the older kid was just getting in on the deal. They discussed how much they were going to pay for it, how hard they had to work to sell it, how they were going to carry it. I mean, there was no mystery about this to these kids. That was yesterday. This morning a kid of about 10 was talking about how he and his girlfriend got high in the park every day for the past two weeks. 10!! So I'm a little depressed about this.

Um, ew?

So this morning, as I was wondering if all my wierd experiences were drying out and I'd have to start making things up, I was rescued by a perfectly normal looking man who decided it was a good idea to pluck his nose hairs using his fingers. I surmised that he was plucking his nose hairs, and not...other things, because of the extreme amount of force used when removing his fingers from his nose, and because he used two fingers in a pinching method. This reminds me of the perfectly lovely little old woman who sat near me once and decided it was a good idea to pick her nose and then leave her discovery on the handrail, no less. Where people's hands go. I try not to touch too much now.

Hahaha sucker!

One more for today, sorry! This is a fairly good one. So the bus driver pulls over to a stop, but there's another bus there at the stop already, a bus from a different route. There's a girl standing and a woman sitting, and both are looking at the bus I'm on. The driver pulls up behind the first bus at the stop, a double-length bus, which put us at a good half-block away from the stop. The driver of my bus opens the door, which the girl sees, and she begins walking briskly toward us. Just as she gets to the bus door, the driver slams the door shut and drives away.

Follow-up on first log.

So my friend from the first log was on the bus last night. This time I sat in one of the mid-level seats. He was using his computer to say things like "Controlling my speech and muscles are the only things that are wrong with me. I am not brain damaged. I was in a car accident when I was four years old. I have a job at... I am perfectly normal. Do you think I am retarded?" So now I'm sad, because no one responded to him, and I have no doubt that he's perfectly normal inside. It must be hard to have your mental capacities all there but no one to talk to because no one will talk to you. What should I do? It's a coincidence, too, that the book I was reading, The Man From U.N.C.L.E., the Doomsday Affair had one of the agents injected with a drug that made him appear to by phsycially challenged in the exact same way as the guy from my bus. It told the scenes from the guy's point of view, and played up his frustration at being perfectly mentally capable but totally incapable of talking or using his muscles properly. Crazy, huh?

Movie star bus drivers.

So there's this female driver who has the most sensual voice, when she calls the stops out over the speaker you think some movie star is driving the bus! It's incredible how wonderful it makes the whole ride. I sit there listening to her call the stops and wonder if other people notice or care, but I can't imagine that they wouldn't. I imagine teenage boys who develop lifelong crushes on this woman and spend day after day riding her bus and falling in love with her voice.