It's gonna be all right.

No, it's not! People, it is not socially acceptable to bathe yourself in either patchouli or other herbal-based scented oils immediately before entering an enclosed space with about 30 of your fellow human beings. The bad thing is that I used to wear those sorts of oils years ago and so I spend the entire 1 hour ride coughing, sneezing, and terrified that I didn't throw the bottle of patchouli oil out but in fact it's been waiting somewhere in my drawer, has been crushed and has seeped all over my clothes so that actually I am the one causing the terrible odor. It's for this reason I do not make a conspiratorial joke about the smell to the quiet girl sitting next to me, because I think her glances at me are in fact accusing me of causing all the problems and I just don't know it. So you see, not only is the smell causing respiratory problems for fellow passengers but also extreme mental anguish, and therefore such scented oils should carry a worse fine than smoking. At least smoke smell goes away soon after entering fresh air, but I get patchoili scent particles stuck in my nose for the rest of the day.

Also...

If you are seriously contemplating getting a t-shirt that says "don't talk to me" because you mean it, do NOT wear a 1972 Rolling Stones tour t-shirt on the bus.

I live in terror.

I live in terror that the guy wearing the bike helmet will sit next to me. Not because he is wierd in any obvious or outwardly expressive way. He actually reminds me of a high school volleyball coach. No, I live in terror of this guy because when he sits next to someone or someone makes the unfortunate choice of sitting next to him, he turns, stares for a minute or so at the person, and then begins talking to them about himself and his life. He doesn't care who. I thought at first he just knew everyone and was friendly like that, until I witnessed a gentleman completely ignore him and yet he continued the conversation anyway. One time he sat across from a developmentally disabled man who was trying terribly to be polite, but the guy just kept on going. At one point he goes, "hey, do you want to hear a joke my grandfather used to tell me?" and the poor man looked away. After a few moments, the guy in the bike helmet says "Ok what do you..." and then laughs uproariously at the end of the joke while the man just sat there. I'm afraid he'll sit next to me and I'll either have to be polite or suffer the guilt of ignoring someone who is trying to talk to me. I'm not sure I can muster so much aplomb so early in the morning, God help me.